"And Now I'm Left With Nothing...."

So. I started this pseudo-relationship with you. It is just a FWB situation--our little secret. Neither one of us wants a relationship. Neither of us has time for a relationship. I'm busy working two jobs and trying to stay afloat in my life and obligations. You have your children and a career that's about to take off. It is convenient. You just call or text and I will tell you yes or no. You stop by if I say yes and we have our hour of pure delight. An hour or so where we just give in to the urges and wants and desires and forget the stresses of our lives. An hour of euphoria.......
On the rare occassion I say no. Everything is cool. We just try for another day.....Life is good.
The other night I went and saw you at work. I loved the look of determination on your face as you were lost in your work--totally in your zone. Then, you looked up and saw me and the hardness of you face melted away into that heart warming smile you give me. I watched you flirt with the girls and watched them fawn over you and that didn't bother me---too much anyways. That was the deal. You have your life and I have mine but neither one matters when we are together. You would make your way through the crowds and come chat on your few breaks making sure that I was okay and having fun. I was having a good time.
After I got home, you called to see what I was up to. I'll admit that it set my head spinning to think that after all those girls were all over you and you could have had any one of them, you decided to come home to me. You meant it when you said that I was the only one you were making time for in your busy life. I thought those words were just pillow talk but I see that I was wrong. You came in, sat down and smiled that little smile at me...the smile that tells me to stop what I am doing and come spend my time on you. The same smile you gave me when I saw you at work. I began massaging your body and you laid down. My hands pawed up and down and all over your warm flesh. My fingertips grazed the skin across your broad shoulders and down your spine. You let out small whimpers and moans letting me know that I was on the right track. Our bodies intertwined as we rolled around lost in the passion of it all. I laid my head on your chest and softly ran my fingers over your torso. Your breathing steadied and you fell asleep. You woke up moments later and muttered something about needing to get home but curled up with me and fell back asleep. It was wonderful laying there in your arms. Feeling the rise and fall of your chest and your warm breath on my forehead. I had forgotten what that was like. The night progressed with several interludes of passion followed by a few peaceful moments of sleep. Finally, the sun started to poke through the drawn shades of my bedroom and we awoke again. You held me and moaned that you felt so good and didn't want to leave. You wrapped me in your warm embrace and kissed my forehead before heading out the door. You looked back at me and gave me that signature smile. I went back to bed and wrapped myself up in the sheets and breathed in the lingering smell of you left behind on my pillow. Thoughts of you filled my dreams.
Hours later I was woken up by the familiar sound of my cellphone playing your song. I opened it and read your message telling me of the wonderful morning you shared with me and how relaxed I made you feel. I rolled out of bed and quickly shot you a message simply stating that I enjoyed myself as well and was looking forward to our next rendezvous. I logged into my primary social networking site and read that you had a "spectacular day today" and my head swelled a little thinking of you and our morning together.
Going about my day, thoughts of you would sneak in and out of my mind. What was I thinking? This is a "no-strings-attached" sort of deal. I am too busy for a relationship. I don't have time for this mushy crap. I returned home and logged back into my social networking site and read the comments on your "spectacular day" post. My heart crumbled as I read that you had met someone that "really is special" and I realized that you were not honest. No matter what we shared, it's not that you don't want a relationship---you don't want a relationship with ME....ouch......that hurts.....