Dwelling in the past

Been thinking about things a lot lately...why can't I just get over you? Every time I think that I can move on, I hear a song on the radio and it makes me miss being with you. This morning, I heard "The Truth" by Jason Aldean and I lost it. Just started crying.
"Tell em all I'm on vacation. Say I went to visit friends--that you ain't heard or seen from me in quite a while. When they ask you where I've been, tell em I'm out on the west coast where it don't ever rain and that I'm probably doing fine. Just don't tell em I've gone crazy--that I'm still strung out over you. Tell em anything you want to just don't tell em all the truth. Yeah don't tell em all the truth. I still need you. Yeah that's the truth. I still love you, Baby that's the truth."
I'm just so lonely without you. I've done some dating and it's just not the same. You know so much about me. I'm not use to someone not being able to look me in the eyes and know what I'm thinking. I've never been good at saying what I mean to say, but you always knew what was going on. We had that special connection from the start of our relationship. I wish that you would just hurry up and grow up so that we could make it work. I know you have it in you....I just wish you could see what I see when I look at you.
Remember all those times hanging out in your kitchen when we first met? All the times that we read each other's thoughts? The time when I kept "making" you kiss me while you were telling me a story just by looking at you? The card tricks? That's the "you" that I fell in love with. That's the "you" that I miss so much. You changed for the worse after that and lost that part of you. Sometimes, when we talk, I can still catch a glimpse of that person and that's what I hold onto. That is what I held onto for the last two years of our relationship. I was in love with what we could have been not what we actually were. I keep flip-flopping on this issue. One week I'm totally over you and then next week, you are all that I can think about. Maybe I should have let you move. Maybe I shouldn't have talked you into sticking around. Maybe I should just let you go and stop seeing you all together. That seems the logical solution, right? Just the thought of not knowing what's going on with you drives me nuts. I'm always so concerned about you. Will I ever truly get over you? Will I always carry a torch for you in hopes that someday you will snap out of your funk and realize that you want me and I AM worth the effort and change?

Just more confusing thoughts that run through my mind on a daily basis. Oh well. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget to be a dear and feed the fish on your way out!!

*~*Leila*~*